Yeah! clear some assignments le~~

well.. haven been blogging hor.. quite happi today coz i cleared some assignments le! this is quite a hard week with 2 presentations and one media test and of coz those CP design and DF thing lar.. within like 3 days.. plus other assignments to be handed in and waiting for approval.. but den yar.. i survived.. =D

started the day with a media test!
went into the hall den gerald say wan sit behind me and weilun.. haha.. so he can peep at our ans from the top.. ha.. ok lor.. i dun realli mind.. so i sit infront lor.. as if i know all d ans like tt..

well........ i dunno how to answer d qns on something like with reference from your own research, name a filmaker or designer from the 60s and his contribution to that period of time in blah blah blah to what blah blah blah.. how i know?? (5marks) i didn't do tutorial on that lor.. Ms Irene also nv taught us that lor.. so what the hell is tat qns? what shit.. no research how to answer? but aniway.. i anyhow ans d qns and gave dunno true or fake info.. jus crap d ans.. i wrote Zhang Yimou.. hah.. coz he started making films during the Chinese Cultural Revolution which is during the 60s. His movies reflected some values in it..den i went on to say becoz of this den ppl will reflect on their own behavior etc.. blah blah.. which is information that i made up. i didn't know what his movie is about lor. i onli watched Hero.

den after d test i realised that eh.. Zhang Yimou onli make movie AFTER the Chinese Cultural Revolution hor.. so SHIT! but nvm, aniway.. i also dunno what am i trying to say for that answer also.. so hack lar..
weilun, huifen and audrey v funni.. for the In the Mood for Love movie right.. d director is Wong Kar Wai.. weilun put wong KAI Wai, huifen put Leong Kar Wai.. haha.. Audrey more cute.. haha.. she wanted to put Tony Leong.. !! = ="!! haha.. pls lor.. tony leong is the male lead lo.. faint neh.. all sorts of ans can come out de.. but in d end.. dunno what she put..

i'm glad d test is over!! maybe it is time to prepare for the nxt coming test on.. nxt wed.. comms test.. boring.. but still.. got to study no matter what.. i dun wan take subpaper..

and hm.. o ya.. Pat Tan is away for attachment till Oct.. hmm.. we will miss her... esp when she is quite nice looking, friendly, young and she smells good! haa.. realli.. we will go smell her.. but of coz she dunno lar.. :P i cannot tahan ppl with body odour.. wah.. can die.. esp yday hoh! when me and huifen were goin back home from sch ard.. evening time.. den on d train, many many countless ah peks and ah boys very smeeeellly neh.... wah.... cannot tahan..!! i also vomitted.. coz of the chemical reaction happening in my body lor..
huifen also cannnot tahan lor. until before she got off the train.. she accidently burp out :" WOW VERY SMELLY neh!" wah.. impact sia.. so many ah pek look at her.. trying to act blur.. den huifen laugh so loud den got off the train.. while me continue to suffer.. luckily it was onli one more stop be4 i got off..
but den i had ard 4 mentos in my mouth. strong mint, helps preventing the smelly 'ba wu' from entering my nose. =D

so ppl, pls... dun be a smelly psn ok.? if not i might hate u.. unless there is reason for the smelly part.. =D

It's all about shit..

Started my day with Jack Neo giving a lecture on movies.. his movies.. well, d lecture turns out to be quite fun, not that boring as what i thot it would be.. maybe becoz he spoke in a very singaporean way..meanin there's a lot of mandrian and dialect going on, making it kinda interesting..

after lecture, Huifen, Huiwen and I planned to go to town to buy formal wear.. but den.. er.. ended up with the almost d whole class following us. Wah... so we went Taka, Wisma and PS. and sad to say.. i din buy anything.. i decided to wear what i already have.. hah.. the ones i like were either too ex or not nice when i wear it.. realised that i can't really wear darker formal wear for d top.. makes me look old neh.. so in d end i din buy anything..

i think i have the habit of spending money on friends, tibits and daily meals lar.. well, i dun mind lar.. coz i rmbed this thing tt a close fren told me..:" if i spend money on myself, i will be very happy. but if i spend money on my frens to get what they realli like or need, they will be happy. when they are happy, that makes me happy too!" so it is like.. wah.. ok.. tt makes sense to me.. money is something that you can never finish earning. money may not be able to buy happiness, but when u can get a bit of joy when spending on others or what.. why not? it is not as if when u die u will still have ur money with u..

ok.. back.. spent.. some time in d arcade waiting for the others to play their guitar freak, drum thing, ghost squad.. blah blah blah..be4 we go to PS to search for d formal wear again.. i sat there for like dunno how long till i almost fell asleep in d arcade... d noise isn't affecting my slp i guess... jus tired somehow.. din wan to play also.. till nette and fang came den we managed to get out of d arcade.. to PS for dinner..

reached home at almost 10pm lor.. went straight to bathe.. realised that i wanted to shit.. yar.. shit.. haven been shitting recently.. constipation again? should be lar...
i hate the whole process of it lor.. c'mon.. bathing should make u feel clean and fresh.. but why shit during bathing time? but i jus shitted aniway lar..

i got so fed up with the shit thing.. d shit jus stuck somehow.. dun wan to come out.. shity shit... make me use all my energy to push d shit out.. but den.. stubborn shit... when d shit finally come out.. felt so damn relief ok.. faster wash up, continue to bathe.. cannot tahan d smell.. i dunno use how much shampoo and body foam to cover the smell.. haha.. shit lor..

litttttleee did i noe... suddenly.. halfway thru when bathing, i realised i haven finish shitting.. wah liew.. damn fed up.. den shit again.. i hated this lor...... ard one week shit one time.. den that one time must shit 2 times.. shit lar.. repeat d whole 'pushing and breathe in' process to try get as much shit out as i can.. i dun wan a 3rd time ok.. but den i failed to get all out.. i scare sit too long will get piles.. so dun care.. dun continue to shit le.. den.... wash up again... SHIT!!! den i had to 're-bathe' again.. coz.. aiyo.. it is like 75% done with bathing.. den shit again.. means ur 75% bathing had gone to waste.. so start all over.. shampoo hair lah.. blah blah blah lah..

finally done with it.. came out.. i look and smell refreshing! i hope so.. but i would say.. d last thing i would ever want to do in my daily life is to jus shit.... SHIT..

P/S: SHIT!! my color theory, DF and CP not done yet... hiaz.. color by fri.. DF and CP by mon.. no ideas...... shit... can i draw shit on my greeting card? will amy scold me? obviously..

Sweet Memories

Hmm... today is a........ normal day... with one sweet moment.. ba..
tt is when i received a message from debbie and another from Esther.. haa...at the same time..
In debbie's msg, it says something like, she jus shifted her house le.. when everything is settled.. she will ask us to go over to.. 'party'.. another is by esther.. ha.. asking some of us if we are free on sunday.. wan go over to her place.. for lunch.. she will cook for us..

gosh.. so sweet of her.. it had been so long since we last met... those sweet memories.. that i will never forget... thou i'm not sure if the other 2 will turn up on sunday not.. but den.. it is the effort that Esther put in.. to get us together that touches me.. how many of the 8 sisters can remain like this.. i dunno.. and i dun think i wan to know.. the truth hurts i guess.. chose to be ignorant.. but den.. i think i'm not.. i jus hope i am.. ignorant.. it is like ppl always say 'ti kong tia gong kia'..

come to think of it...will 'she' turn up in Esther's place? i guess.. some knows who's d 'she' i m refering to.. actually.. i dun think so... 'if' she turns up.. what shall i do? can i still be natural and normal after so many stuffs had happened.. hope she is still fine.. and.. yah.. fine..

den.. tt day.. wenhao suddenly msn me.. quite weird.. for him to do that... guess he knew something.. but nvm... i made my points clear enough i guess.. zhimin knows it too.. but thanks to the 2 of them for understanding..

n lastly.. i think i had been neglecting some of my friends or rather... all are busy with our own stuff.. some working.. some NS.. some studying.. some.. doing nothing.. but disappear somehow..
k.. so... i haven been a good fren.. i sux big time..

set... i mus try to make time for some of them.. jus some.. those who are worth my time.. ha..
SET!! hmm.. these few days i m feeling quite ok le.. better... so yar... ok.. i will rmb to smile as much as i can! =D

I dun Know Why

early in d morning.. er... grandma gave me $20 coz she scared i dun hav enough money with me... i tried rejecting it, there was this 'push here push back' action going on.. but she insisted that i should take it.. but the thing is, i still have enough for myself and i dun wan to take it coz it seems so weird for a 20 year old to get money from grandma.. but den in d end still took it coz mother say take lar.. if not push here and there, i dun need go school le.. faint.. felt so ashamed.. of myself...

den.. as usual.. saw nette, jiawan and gang at d station lar.. den walk to sch lor.. realised a bit late.. den thot of walking faster.. but then think they are famous for walking slowly? haha.. so din noe what to do so jus .. normal lar... still got 96.7% attendance.. :) but can sense.. hmm.. jiawan walk faster hor.. scared that i'm late woah.. den.. hmmm... saw chun how running for lecture.. haha... den they ask me run after him.. ok lor.. run lar.. c how long will it take us to rush to the lect hall... so i rush to chun how.. *faint... one 20 yr old and one 24 yr old running to lect hall early in d mornin coz we scare we late.. so lame.. so weird.. but i did tt.. dunno why..

watched children of heaven.. was touched by the story.. d way d bro treat her sis.. but in real life.. anyway, after lect.. went for 'brlunch' in FJ... spent an hr eating..den proceed to d lib wif chun how, weilun and huifen.. wanted to read some books lar.. etc.. but i dunno why.. instead of reading.. i fell asleep in the discussion room for an hour.. am i realli that tired? i dun think so.. so tt means i did nothing in the lib.. they finished their readings.. so we decided to leave..

i actually din wan to go home... wanted to jus go anywhere but home.. not tt.. there's a war inside or what now.. but jus a bit empty.. i din wanted to join bee ching they all with their arcade today coz i dunno why.. jus dun feel like lor..
in d end... i went home.. at 12.. i usually take ard 40min to reach home.. coz there's this 10 min walk from the station back home.. but today i left at 12, reached at 1.30pm.. in fact i reached my station at 12.30.. but i took me so much time to walk the '10 min' walk.. i can walk damn slow..

reached home.. grandma slping.. dunno what mum doin.. cookin i think.. den.. i din say anything much.. lock myself inside d room.. as usual.. den what? stared at computer.. dun feel like doin my assignments.. so i slept.. till ard 5pm.. den?

jus had my dinner.. blah blah.. dunno waiting for what shit.. and yah.. it had been some days since i last 'shit-ted'.. when will i shit?

n i did one dunno what test some days ago.. it say's my 'mental age' is 32 years old.. = ="!! there is a 12 yr difference.. maybe yah.. i'm thinking like a old woman... sooner or later i will become a v old psn and start nagging and frowning everyday..

boring... even this entry i wrote is damn boring.. but i jus wrote it anyway.. coz i m bored.. aniwae i can onli talk to d com at home.. so.. yar..
so many things to do yet no energy to do.. think i should slp again..

Fed up with Everything

Yday i was actually quite fed up but i tried to hide it.. early in the morning... certain FEW kept asking me questions that i am sick of answering. ok.. by right i wanted to do 'happy' for my color theory face painting but then in the end i did 'depress' instead.. why? coz i had people still asking me how to use photoshop? how to shift the pic? how to change d gradient? how to resize the pic? and.. how to change the dimensions...this is week 11 alreadi.. i mean.. yes, i m older.. i should help.. but den i'm tired of being a 'nanny' or 'walking dict'. i can't be telling people the same thing over and over again rite? why can't they jus go to the lib or what to find out those answers themselves if they realli care for their work? some kept msging me asking me sch work thing... i dun hav the answers to everything. poor chun how. .he suffered the same tragedy... no wonder his face turned black at times.. i truly understand that feeling..

went home.. saw mum crying.. i know who make her cry... the man in d room slping.. all i could do is to sit there and hear her talk.. nothing else i could do.. useless me..

today.. thot it would be better.. but i'm wrong.. everything get worst..
brother went to add another tattoo to his body.. he alreadi had five.. and now.. six.. when will he stop doing that? it dun look nice at all..
mum saw it.. and got angry.. depressed.. she cried out again.. for another man in her life.. she hated people havin tattoo.. n it ended up that her own son had so many tattoos.. of coz she is very sad.. she told my brother so many times tt she got so disappointed.. i thot.. i thot my brother changed after tt year when he couldn't be with us. .. he kneel down before my mum den to promise tt he will change.. but now.. i'm not so sure of it.. the fight ended with my brother going out for some drinks.. dad in the room slping.. again.. and my mum crying in the kitchen..i did nothing.. useless brother, useless father, useless me..

i waited till night time.. when my mum approached me to talk to me... some words realli.. reminded me of the past.. and i dunno how long can i tolerate everything..
is there love between my parents? i dunno... maybe.. maybe they are still together because of us.. i shouldn't be so selfish when i m in sec sch den.. i told my mum be4 i dun wish to c them divorce when my mum ask me who i wan to follow if they go separate ways.. i had no answers.. den.. but if.. my mum were to ask me now.. i would say i will follow her..

my father could support himself.. but my mum can't.. she had never worked be4 in all her life.. she's too old to work now.. my father kept complaining tt she is not working but yet keep the money he work so hard for.. but i dun think tt is the way he should react.. he had enough for himself but he spend so much money buying 4D and beers.. he need at least 5 cans of beers a day.. i know he has alcoholism now.. no matter how hard we tried to change him.. there's no use.. i thot tt accident he had would help him quit his drinking habits.. but no.. i can still tolerate the shit he is giving my mum.. unless one day if he hits my mum.. den tt's it..

actually, my father dotes me the most in the family.. but.. he seldom talk to me.. as well as my brother..irony.. he only scolds my mum and not us.. i think the length of coversation i had with him in a year is less than d conversation i had with a fren in a day seriously.. i seldom.. call him.. 'pa'.. unless there is something i need to talk to him.. there is something lacking between the family.. love?

mum says.. she's very sad that she couldn't afford to support me for uni education both locally and overseas. i know she feels bad.. i almost went to vancouver to work.. but den i din in the end coz of some reasons.. tt y i m in NYP now.. coz a A level cert is not enough.. i know exactly that i hav to do very well in NYP for myself and for my mum.. yes.. that's d thing tt is stressing me.. some ask me why i m stress when it comes to sch work.. ok.. tts d reason.. i had to score, not to jus pass..

jus now.. mum told me that i m d only one who she could depend on le... i m d only one who could bring her 'honor' and stop my father's bad attitude to her.. if i earn a lot money in d future, my father will listen to me.. she have high expectations for me.. she hope i will study hard and she is willing to find anyways to support me for my poly education.. how.. am i suppose to feel?...

yes.. i hav to do very well.. i know i hav to.. at the moment i got 2 A+ and 1 C for my comms, 2 A+ for my media, 1 A+ for my DF, 1 A for my Creative design, 1 C+ for my color theory and 1 C++ for my drawing. and am i satisfied? no.... i'm not satisfied at all..i m disappointed that i got C++ for my perspective drawing.. even thou Pat Tan says it is v normal for ppl to score low for drawing.. and d other Cs.. also..

gerald asked me dun study leh.. go play lar.. i wanted so much to play and ignore everything and jus relax.. dun care abt results.. but can i? i can't afford to do that.. i have a great responsibilty now.. i hav to stress myself.. u think i enjoy going back to sch in sat to work on proj?

n i missed the chance to work yday.. coz of the stupid pencil and pixar thing.. dun wish to take money from mum.. she dun hav enough for the whole family le.. n now.. dunno if father would let her take care of the money in the family or not.. if he dun.. den.. sure jialat.. all the money would ended up in his stomach.. more beers on the table.. classmate saw my uob card and say wah.. i so rich arh? duhz... i m not! anyone can apply for tt... i apply tt coz the interest rate is higher. tt's it, i m not rich. i need to work to keep myself going..

what m i suppose to say now.... i m lost.. somehow.. tired.. but den i haven complete my sketches.. and baobei is leaving again tml.. she might be back ard christmas.. or new yr.. i got to send her tml.. 5plus Am.. damn early..
i lock myself in d room as usual again... talking to d com.. to d blog.. to myself... fed up...... with myself..how long can i maintain my smiles?

Special Day

duhz... i'm not going to talk about National Day thou i love SINGAPORE!!
this is a special day for me lar... coz my grandma came over to stay with us for a couple of days as her home is under renovation. yar..a old flat in Holland V under renovation so she couldn't use the toilet etc.. and the noise will disrupt her life...

she's sleeping now in my brother's room.. not mine.. coz my room is simply too messy for her to sleep. yah.. for those who had been to my room will know tt.. my bed is like my table where i throw all my 'jia-pa-rang' and i place my mattress on d floor.. dunno y.. i jus feel more comfortable slping on d floor. maybe becoz i fell down from my bed be4...
den my brother had to slp on a 'ti lam' in my mum's room... i think he can't slp.. coz i heard a lot of noise going on right now thou i locked myself in my room.

my parents prepared so much to welcome my grandma here.. cook all d food she like lar.. those 'meat boiled in dunno what sauce tt makes it like so soft.. nua nua tt kind'.. den what tofu *not jiawan* with those salty veggie plus pig intestines.. ARGh.... puke... i dun like... but my grandma likes it.. so for these couple of days i guess i have to eat it... nvm.. i can bare with it..

den my tt stupid brother lar... jus now when watchin d NDP, he was so tactless... said something tt is sooo sensitive.. he was critizing the government for spending so much money on the NDP lar~~ all using our money.. den he said something like he hope they will ganna cancer and die. Immediately i turned and stared at him den he realised he said something wrong.. hopefully my grandma didn't hear tt... i think she din.. but.. who knows... ya.. my grandma is sick.. she had lung cancer..

ard 3 months ago, d doc told my father n uncles tt my grandma.. may not live for more than half a year.. my parents din wan to tell us what is wrong with her.. why is she hospitalised.. we were just told to visit her in d hospital. but little did they know tt i have a fren who is working in NCC=National Cancer Centre. she had to do regular checks in SGH and it so happens tt d ward which my grandma is in is d ward tt she had some patients for trials in it. so she managed to update me on my grandma illness thou she was not supposed to disclose the patients info.. but.. shhh...till now my parents didn't noe i did tt... but they told me after some time..
fren said tt the lung cancer is most likely due to smoking. and not onli tt.. she had high blood pressure as well..

now.. glad to say, she is still living.. thou she look haggard... had to wear wig.. i dunno how long will tt last but at least she is still around.. around with us. i know sooner or later.. d heaven will take her away and we are all prepared.. but i hope it wun be so soon... i wish to let her see that her grandchildrens are all doing good and stuffs.. of coz i hope to acheive something for her, for my parents, for myself..

a special day.. a day since some years ago when she last stayed..
she is in my house... now.. sleeping peacefully...

Try this Personality Test

Huiwen gave me this Url to do a personality test.. n i am quite surprised tat it is quite.. er.. ok lar.. it is very accurate for me lar.. n was requested by her to post it on my blog.. so here's d result for me:

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


is it true? ha.. hey! for those who think i m childish, tell u arh.. i v mature one.. *wahaha... jus tt i dun show my tt side unless when i hav to lar.. coz will be damn serious den later ppl scare of me.. ha... n d last sent also damn accurate..
and here u go.. the link for the test is http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

SuuuUU ShIIIII~~~

Went to sch sooooOOO damn early today.. at freaking 8.45AM when my lesson is actually starting at 4PM.... all becoz Amy S wanted us to hand in the sketch book at 9Am SHARP if not she will give us some fresh eggs.. she said we can fry it, stream it, boil it.... etc... er.. a bit .. cold..
well, it took us around 3 secs to hand in d book den all look lost.. dunno what to do after tt.. no one went home..

so bee ching, marcus, joshua and wendi went to swim n we followed to WATCH them swim.. Ha ha... *how exciting... = ="!! Edwin joined them to swim after 'borrowing' marcus 3/4 pants.. funni thing is that.. he was trying to show off his swimming skills.. but den he came up too fast without knowing that there was a pole like structure infront of him and he jus BANG onto it SOooo damn hard tt he fell straight back into d pool with his goggles out of place.. *poor thing.. haha.. but den so nice of him to create such a 'fun' moment for us.. hah.. now, there's a 'hump' on his forehead.. aha!!

after tt..we proceeded to d com lab ard 12pm.. for some proj thingie.. but instead of doing proj and CMS.. we did more talking n crapping... we also looked at the photos we took at the chalet and den trying to find 'hantu' on every single pic and pin-point, make comments on every pics.. tt 'act' managed to last us till ard 3pm.. power right.. finally started on our proj at 3 till 4.. den we went for.. boring Comms Skills lesson till 6........ BORIN............. > <"

but den after tt.. i went to town to meet up wif some dear frens... Baobei, Wing and Perline.. at Border's Sakae sushi arh... haha.. we did some tissue tricks again... haha!! n we improvised it!! we like to come out with this kind of shit lor.. haha... n i think we did impress a caucasian seated nxt to our table.. haha.. he kept looking at us and smiling.. after tt we saw him outside d toilet and he smiled to us.. mus be entertained by our craps.. haha.. hey.. i realli good at this kind of shit lor.. n i seem sooo proud of it.. haha.. wing wing also good at it!! as for Baobei.... er... er.... er... she CMI=can't make it lar... clumsy hands.. haa...

miss them also... coz these few weeks all busy wif studies... work.. etc.. esp feel bad to Baobei.. coz since she came back from Shanghai for holi on 19th July.. i haven been able to go out wif her.. coz of my DF lar... haiz.. this time die die also mus go c her a while if not feel bad lar.. n she going back on 14th Aug le.. hmm.. after tt will miss her again.. haven been seeing Wing and perline also.. wing's still so funni.. and perline is still d 'bei hou ling', kept laughing without saying or doing anything.. jus sit there enjoy being entertained by us.. coz wing n me keep on 'suaning' baobei.. haa.. so cute.. ke ai.. ke ai de baobei.. ha.. and it feels good to c them..

well.. i should go slp le!! tmr early lect.. cannot late le.. ah bor.. ganna tt kaypoh gail 'lecture' den die.. "did u'll bring ur notes?" shit her.. purposely dun wan bring c how..