Touched~

This lunar new year.. thou i dun realli get to celebrate but still some people did things that touched me in a way or two..
firstly.. debbie showed concern for me once again.. and ya.. i din expect her to do that but still she did.. knowing that i am having some sort of difficulties.. touched.. mama asked me mus be nice to her so yar.. i'm aware of who is being really nice to me.. she is really the one i can trust and not feeling afraid that one day i might lose her or what...

and o yah.. i was rushing my work these few days in order to go out tml!! stress.. work non stop.. and i got jane to send me lots and lots of her pictures so that i can use her as my model for my latest digi assignment! and man.. she realli change a lot.. so much prettier now and hey! i will go support u at club momo on fri nite! but providing that i dun hav make up lesson or that my lesson ends be4 ur competition.. and yar.. u noe i dun like to go clubbing but i go there for ya sake lar.. once in a while.. will be going wif debbie after her work too~i'll probably leave after u finish ur catwalk or watever~ i can predict that i will be v tired that day~ aniway.. post some of ur pics here.. woot!

like this.. quite model huh u~ u and ur freakin height. i hate u~ haha~

o ya.. yday i went to grandpa hse.. everyone went there as well.. but on one is allowed to say any of those er.. happy new year greetings etc.. so unlike last time.. but ya.. it is so boring there.. that i went out to take a walk on myself at the holland village.. but no shops are opened.. dotz.. but after that some cousins came so i got myself to talk to them lor.. den do stupid stuffs and eat eat drink drink.. o.. and one of my cousin ard.. 7 yrs old i guess.. knocked onto the wall quite hard.. and he cried and rubbed his eyes till the left eye bleed.. er.. kinda a bit scary but i think is ok lar.. i think is he rub and cry too hard.. not that he hurt his eye.. coz he say his eyes not pain.. er.. yar.. grandpa scolded the other two cousins for playing too much and causing him to knock his head.. but i seriously think it is not the other 2 cousin's fault coz they din push him or wat.. but nvm..

and yar.. took dozens of pics wif other cousins of my age coz they wanted to take pic with 'jj' and show their frens.. dots.. but it wun be nice to reject them so yar.. i had to do as requested.. and even aunties asked me to sign on their majong paper.. dots.. how's that again? xiao de msn me to wish me that this brand new year, i will be jj no more.. but i doubt so.. it is not within my control ya..

today.. i stayed at home d whole day to rush 3D and ms amy stuffs.. and yes.. i am making a clip of our class for her.. and also most of the videos we take.. to give her lor.. let her see when she got nothing better to do.. =) partly coz i lazy to draw.. and now i got to rush my typo.. and ya.. a guy pissed me jus now.. nvm that..

PR manager + Group 9 take note!

yday i went to evvon's bday celebration.. not say a lot of ppl turned up.. but at least i got to see some faces tat i din see for years.. like i saw hanxiang.. ah ji kaiwen.. melisa.. is it.. ying ying or not.. eh.. forgot her name.. and also some new faces la.. and not forgetting debbie, meirong, theresa, yumei and yushuang..

and d common thing is again.. they asked me to sing JJ song and i m like sort of a PR manager going ard to diff tables to entertain ppl.. wif craps and stuffs.. if not d atmosphere will be a bit weird.. coz ah mei they all dunno kaiwen they all.. den blah blah blah.. den i know most of d ppl there so yah.. become PR manager.. aniwae.. most left after that.. so onli left wif like theresa, mei, rong,shuang and me lor.. plus bday girl evvon la..

small grp of ppl but at least cosy la.. but i dunno why i kinda tired.. and when i rested on d bed, i fall asleep.. after that wake up again to play dai di.. den i fall asleep somehow again.. dotz.. i'm proud to say that i m one first to sleep.. lalala..
and ya.. i came home ard d afternoon, had cup noodles and sleep.. n i m suppose to meet nette, sotong and siti or ain or ain or siti to buy amy present. but aniway, their lesson end late so i went o sleep and was waken by sotong's call... so went over to bishan and got amy's stuffs. after tt, ate, talk and talk and talk n den go home~

so for grp 9, we kinda confirm tat we will meet 130PM at QUEENSTOWN MRT STATION on the 3RD OF CNY meaning 31st of JAN, TUESDAY. SET ARH! help spread msg ard. and also that we have plans for this!! for those who read... see this:

I got a handbag and a adhesive photo album for ms amy. and i thot it would be best if we could do something for her that makes her er.. think of us or whatever la.. so had a small discussions wif some jus now in msn and we decided that we should do this..

EVERYONE, do a rough sketch or drawing or card or WHATEVER for amy to paste on the album. d rough sketch etc can be of any styles, manga or mango or watever~ maybe u would wan to like draw u and amy together den she scold u for being RA or lousy or not using brain also can.. something that u think reminds u of amy.. wan color dun wan color anything.. as for the size. i think A4 would be good but if u wan bigger or smaller also can.. d album quite big.
and audrey asked if she can paste her shoebox design that she did last time. ans is yes. can. anything. as long as more or less related to amy can alreadi. gerald ask can put his name d horny gerald logo? ans is YES. ANYTHING~

and o ya.. d first page would be a drawing by Hazel which i requested her to do.. coz i know she can do a good job.. that is to draw our whole class wif amy.. d style is.. er.. hazel style. hahah.. and ya.. to include our characteristics inside like let's say.. drawing gerald would be like drawing a naked RA man. den marcus's eye er.. one line enough.. that kinda thing. yeah rite.. hazel say ok.. so settle..

ok... let's hope the end product would be a nice one..
and guys..
dateline of this AMY ASSIGNMENT :
3rd of CNY, 31st JAN, TUESDAY ,130PM

venue to hand in: QUEENSTOWN MRT STATION

format: A4 (best recommended) size

paper: anything.. toilet paper also can if u can make it v nice.

color: unlimited. anything. any color scheme. any shit.

end piece: hard copy. i dun wan soft copy unless u wan to burn it into a cd and pass it to me..

consequences if not handed in time:
1. ur work will not be seen in this album
2. amy will forget who r u when she left d place
3. u might hav a hard time in d remainin amy digi lesson for the next few weeks and maybe studio proj.


ok that's abt all. hav a nice time doing this =)

Happy new year~ lalalala~

When the Good meets the baddies

I had a typo test today and it wasn't bad.. at least i THINK it wasn't that bad rite.. so yeah.. can relac a bit.. n tml, there is a digi test and i din study.. nvm...

during lunch time, the very 'good, pure and innocent' me heard some horny and funny and dirty and biological stuffs from huifen and huiwen.. d 2 huis.. aniwae.. they are cute and funni.. d way they say some stuffs and ask some questions.. very.. entertaining, make me nearly throw out my food.. hiaz... but the end of this sem will be reachin in like ard 2 months or so.. den we will go to different course.. Huifen wanted to go animation, huiwen going DFV and me.. IM.. so.. hiaz.. hopefully we can still be so fren arh.. d HATRED cum hai dai huifen keep askin me to not forget her, den mus ask her out.. etc and also she wan to come my hse and play.. haha.. play in my hse? what is there to play? ya.. i wasn't realli looking forward to year 2.. coz will be split with quite some frens.. but hope grp 9 still can come out once in a while to update on the happenings and ya.. have fun together..

btw,i skipped the 3D make up lesson today yar.. so rare of me to do that.. but i did anyway.. thot going to watch memoirs of d geisha.. which i have been waiting for.. but den in d end also nv watch.. coz that sotong v sotong and bad~~.. need to meet mama at 6pm.. so d 2 of us, one good one bad.. went to 'yum cha' in Burger King. sooo what happens to the plan of watchin that movie? ok.. it will be postphoned.. haa.. to er.. d sat after new year.. and sotong arh!! we hooked our pinkies alreadi arh! tt day if u go meet mama again or fly me kite~ i go complain to ur mama arh! den go ur place and snatch ur ah pat den throw her in the park to play wif praying mantis arh.. grumbles~

and wat happened to me when sotong left? ok... i went to PS to walk on my own.. lookin for any shirt that i wan to buy for ya.. new year.. mama say anyhow buy.. dun buy too good coz also not celebrating, no one see one la.. so yar.. doesn't realli matter if i can get one also.. so i walk walk walk ard an hr but found none.. den felt a bit bored so i called perline.. and it jus so happens that she wanted to go bishan but den heard that i m in PS so she came over to keep me accompanied. she say that it is her honor to keep me accompanied. *wahaha!! see i soooo good! den continue to walk lor.. and ya.. i ended up wif a shirt.. with 30% discount from my fren, who is a staff of that shop... why i buy that shirt? no reasons.. coz i cannot find any other shirt that is NOT yellow, orange, purple, red and pink in color. i can't wear those color clothes for dunno how long also..
aniwae, i can button all the buttons on the shirt to look like a nerd.. =) maybe i can go get a black frame specs den i will be a complete nerd.. =) sounds fun~

o ya... i go sleep alreadi.. tata~

Shadow of JJ

I've been living as a shadow of JJ lin junjie.. it seems so.. and i have more and more ppl coming up to me to comment on the same thing.. jus this week alone.. almost everyday there is one stranger came up to me to say i look like JJ.

ok.. let's say this 3 days.. thurday, a guy from another class call.. er.. i think is xavier or whatever vier or wat.. say i look like jj. ok..
den fri, i went to coffeeshop to buy rice and den d two storeholder also say i look like JJ.. ask me if i wrote the songs for him or am i connected to him somehow..
den today! sch open hse.. went back sch for my duties.. and yes.. some visitors said the same thing to me again.. den the 'hua' guy and a girl.. dunno her name also.. mentioned the SAME thing.. ok.. so wat am i suppose to say? repeating again and again that i am not JJ, i am not his sister, i m not connected to him in any ways and dun ask me to sing his songs for them to hear coz it is soooo weird and i dunno them at all?

getting more and more sick of hearing this thou i dun show it sometimes.. but den it is like.. i've been treated like a shadow of him. strangers approach me for nothing and stuffs like this.. and ppl dun rmb me for who i am but rather who i look like.. last time a girl from another class also approach me to wan make fren with me.. she asked me if she can call me JJ.. dotz... my name can be forgotten alreadi i guess..

and yes.. something v stupid happened during my grandma's wake.. coz i have some relative's relative's children.. a group of them, running and shouting LIN JUN JIE when they saw me.. and they all jumped and hugged me and stuffs.. asked me to carry them etc.. in the WAKE.. how's that? and yes, i dunno them at all.. but i have to carry them ard.. entertainin them.. and in d end i managed to get away.. but.. after that.. become all the aunties and uncles and cousins and whatever shit ask me to sing d Jiang Nan and Yi Qian Nian Yi Hou .. they say if i willing to sing, they can ask the 'live band' for the wake type.. to play d music for me.. den i can sing for grandma.. ya.. there's a live band there to play electronic guitar and keyboard etc.. employed by my cousins.. realli.. but i rejected that offer coz... that's too weird..

this year... i din count.. but there's certainly more than a hundred or two.. to comment this.. and i m not lying.. realli.. even on mrt also can ganna.. go toilet also ganna.. i m very..... sick of this.. hiaz.. there is advantages and disadvantages i guess.. advantage is that i get to know more ppl and ppl will find me more easy to talk to etc and yes.. i do get better treatment from the kopitiams or food junction in causeway point.. they give me more food and some.. gave me discount.. jus for d sake that i look like JJ.. ya rite..
disadvantage is simply.. i hav to be jus a shadow of him.. argh..

sian.

Boring Digi~

I m having my digi lesson now! n i dunno what is there for us to do except exploring illustrator on our own while the teacher go thru our assignment 3 on her own as well.. er.... den why not jus let us go? i wan to do my animation leh... well aniwae, i'm bored here so i blogged.. for nothing lor..

bored bored bored bored bored...
ah... and ya, whole class will be going for ms amy's hse's new yr watever celebration or gambling den... mentioned by ultraman sotong and nette... on d 3rd day of chinese new year.. and yeah! even yani, hazel, deborah etc are going.. so i guess it would be quite a gathering for grp 9.. we needed that huh.. *yeah.. maybe can play games hor~

ok... realli got nothing to blog on le.. i go do illustrator or chit chat blah blah..
tata~

The art of eating

i jus saw my brother eating chocolate.. and gosh.. the way he eat... VERY UGLY.. omg~ so i jus shout out to him:" EH!! OMG! the way u eat very ugly neh.. u better take a look at how u eat at the mirror.. veryyyyyy ugly.. " ya rite.. so he did and came out without speaking a word.. den i asked him, ugly rite? den he say:" hmmmm.... ya hor.. realli.. quite ugly.. "
WAHAHAHA!! now den he knows it.. still not that late i guess..

i think i have a habit of looking at how people eat... and i dun like to eat with people who dun eat properly.. or at least er... dun too ugly lar... will spoil my appetite.. aniwae.. there is ard 2 classmate's eating 'style' i dun realli like.. *wahahaahahah... cannot say name here woah..~ later got spy~ one of them is a girl whom most of the time land me into trouble de.. and i jus got to know her this year de.. yeah rite.. obvious enough.. i rmb quoting to huifen that the way that certain psn eat.. really.. turns me off... *wahaha..

as in.. dun eat until like all the sauces and whatever stuffs start to appear on areas besides ur mouth.. mouth is for food to go in.. lips are the boundaries of the mouth, telling u that no food should go beyond that area.. so dun let me see chili or whatever shit appearing on blah blah blah area.. like that might as well use ur nostril to eat....

and hor.. guys ok la.. can forgive coz their art of eating is jus to eat like a pig.. so i'm quite used to it.. oopsz.. but for girls arh.. tahan a while la.. eat nicer la.. mouth can open when u munch, but dun open too big until praying mantis also can fly inside.. den also dun.. nibble.. as in really nibble using onli like 2 teeth.. u will appear to be like a hamster or rabbit or what.. spare a thout of those 'bo gei' ah peks or ah mas who need to wear fake teeth la.. make full use of ur teeth la.. and yar.. also dun.. er.. how to say.. u noe some ppl eat with the lower jaws moving sideways, from left to right or vice versa.. i know very delicious la.. but in my eyes arh.. if u do that, u will look like a donkey lor.. u noe how donkey eat? dunno can ask me.. i know how to demo~ aniway, it's ugly. and that's it, UGLY!!!

and what else i need to grumble arh?.. oh.. dun take out ur.. whatever retainer or braces or whatever metal shit infront of ppl who are eating.. go toilet take out la.. a bit ahem.. coz i will be distracted and feel paranoid.. keep thinking that when i eat halfway, the retainer whatever will fly into my bowl, den d soup with combination of whoever's retainer's salive will splash on my face or even into my mouth~~ ARH!!!!!!!!!! i think i will be mad~~ so duuunnnn do that infront of me.. pls...

but basically, most of my classmates and frens' eating habits and 'style' are quite ok.. so yeah.. i alreadi have 2 pigs at home (mother n brother) so i dun wish to see another outside.. ~
btw, my father eat like a girl and my mother eat like a man. power pack combination. salute mama and papa~

Retribution.. Don't laugh at ppl.. :(

arh... keke.. i got my retribution for laughin at huifen and huiwen as they caught a cold and were having flu these few days.. ah... i say they lousi and laughed at them...den since yday after mocking at ppl's illness, i dunno why i caught a flu or whatever shit.. and started having blocked nose.. water dripping or splashin out like waterfall from my nostrils... argh... ke lian~~ nxt time dun laugh at ppl alreadi.. = (

furthermore.. to add on my pain.. i was assigned to be a kinda guide for the open house on SATURDAY 9.30AM till 2PM! how's that? i dun wan to gooooooooooooooooooooo.... but ms sheryl force us to goooooooo... n that crooked mouth sly and olinda dunno wat is coming to my sch for some performance i guess.. but i dun wan to watch.. haha... i wan to go home sleep after that if possible..

and yes.. one thing to look forward is the showing of d movie.. memoirs of a geisha.. i've been waiting for this.. and i wonder how it is going to be.. yeah.. thou my ang moh v jialat but i tell u arh.. i read this book when i am in er.. sec or jc alreadi lor... dun play play arh.. kinda attracted and interested in geisha.. dunno since when also.. well.. aniwae.. i jus wan to watch this! *yeah! and yar.. i wan to see gong li in d movie.. seen reviews that she acted realli very good.. better than zhang zhiyi.. and also to see why is it that they chose chinese to act in a jap culture thingie movie instead of their very own japan actress.. there mus be a reason to that huh.. and that causes sooo much speculations and controversy... lalala.. mus watch mus watch..

and i jus finish my digi ass 3 and it suxs big time... i din knoe that i could do something so er.. childish?! it's a valentine day ecard that we were suppose to design.. n i kinda did something childish to it.. jialat jialat.. wat happen to me? argh.. nvm.. that's all..

tata~ koonz..

Feeling lazy

i dunno what has got into my mind that i hav been feeling lazy for this whole sem.. and i do mean it..ha.. my grades got drop also.. i start to do work last min~ and till now i haven do my digi and typo and drawing and yet i can come here and blog and chat in msn~~ lalaalal.. coz no idea means no idea.. dun force too much..

yday i went back sch to rush a bit on my animation coz i missed the monday lesson.. so i went at ard 11am and stayed till 5pm.. to jus complete the closing of the box.. and after that i went out wif sotong tofu. haha... to relac a while coz ppl!! it is friday!! party ppl! it's friday nite!! FRIDAY! and i realised that it was friday the 13th... but i din feel unlucky thou~ d CUTE gentle lamb sotong had a request that is she wanted to eat american brownie in bb.. and she had to msg me to request for that.. CUTE rite? so i requested that she mus finish her food if not dun go bb.. so ok.. we went.. and she finishes it.. d way she look at the american brownie.. er.. a bit funni.. realli like a kid u noe~~~ and i cannot control laughin at her.. and d way she hold d cup.. er.. also like 3 yr old kid.. ppl hold using one hand, she mus hold using 2 hand.. d water is not HOT! it is cold water man.. and d cup isn't tt heavy.. so ya.. LIKE A KID..

after tt chat and talk and grumble a bit here and there over her 'entertaining' behavior... den we went off to d usual mus go place be4 going home.. that is.. dahda~ PS... =.=" went to spotlight.. cannot find her tt sponge thing.. went to cd shop for nothing.. we not buying anything.. but jus comment on almost anything we see.. so ya... after that.. shop closing.. so went home lor~ this poor thing today still hav to go back to sch for lesson even thou it is sat.. while i m happily sleeping at home~ and i realli sleep... er. . a lot today.. dunno why keep feeling tired.. wanted to do work but no motivation.. no idea.. no feeling arh~ so till now.. haiz... c how la..

a certain classmate jus msn me and chatted wif me over certain issues in class and problems... had quite a long chat.. and ya... hope things will be better.. he is tired.. and i m tired also.. so ya.. dun be a perfectionist.. perfectionists are the ones who don't produce perfect works.. so ya.. i do think that beautiful work dun last but creative and funni works last.. can c that ppl like gerald they all will be more creative so ya.. they may not work as hard as some of the pia ones but definately.. their work can be compared with them also.. so i think we got to live our life easy and be a fun psn.. if u r boring, ur works will be boring as well~ so.. play hard! hopefulli grp 9 can like play as hard as sem 1 and work as hard as sem 1 also.. mus be united.. even thou we may seem to face some probs.. somehow..

this first half of the sem isn't tt good.. but there's still d 2nd half rite.. so everyone work together.. still can make it de...
so ya... for grp 9, everyone stay as 1!! work and play together! *YEAH! go out play arh!! when free la.. *wahaha.. chiong chiong chiong arh!!

den for sotong... dun be a dummy.. hahaha.. lazy bum~~~~ u r a gentle little lamb~ lame lamb cum sotong cum retarded cum ben dan cum a dog cum tofu cum everything i say is u IS U! dun deny.. if not i tell others of ur that typo paper thing.. ur ah pat story~ ur sotong cuttlefish story etc~ a lot~~ threaten~ u evil thing..

and tml is my dear fren esther's 21st bday!!!!!! woot!! dunno if she is spendin wif her family or bf not... hope she is happy and gay!!! *yeah!! esther!! happy bday!! yeah!!

Free-thinker (current state)

After these few days.... i decided that.. i wan to be a free-thinker now.. till whenever i wan it to be.. self declare free-thinker... i dun wan to be a taoist alreadi.. thou my hse still got pray.. and also.. at this current state... my thinkin is that.. if i die.. i wan to be cremated.. not buried.. ok... for this moment.. in d future maybe i'll change my mind again.. well, i dunno..

anyway.. i'm ok alreadi... grandma left peacefully and somethings heard from relatives realli amaze me.. cousins said that there is a saying that.. for ppl who pass away before 5pm means that he/she wanted to pass down her belonging to her children, grandchildren etc.. for a better life.. and for those who pass away after 5pm means tat she wanted to take everything with her and not leave it to d other generations. and my grandma can't bare to leave.. so she waited till 4.58pm den pass away.. jus 2 mins away.. be4 that, she passed a stack of $2 to one of my auntie and asked her to give out $2 each for her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren etc.. those who were present to send her off.. den d rest give it to my grandpa.. for good luck purpose.. another tradition of d taoist.. sometimes.. this kind of thing do amaze u.. tat.. how strong d will power can be..

also d happenins in d wake.. is also... er..... pissed at some aunties... for those 'religion' conflicts... prob is that there's arguments on d matter of how to carry out d funeral.. in christian style or taoist style.. serious conflicts.. d sons insisted on taoist style, daugthers insisted on christian style.. c'mon la.. show some respect for grandma la.. if she wants taoist style den let it be la.. why mus those aunties keep on insisting on some things tat make everyone not happy... but aniwae.. in d end.. everything is done in taoist style coz there is a vote of 6:2.. grandma had 7 sons, 3 daughters.. 1 son and 1 daugther alreadi passed away.. so left 8.. and i jus realise that how big is our family.. grandma had so many children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.. add together ard 64.. a bit too many.. and some of them i din reg at first..

i thot d wake would be v depressing... but it turns out to be more of gathering.. kinda... coz.. grandma like to c a lot of ppl.. she like a happy atmosphere so everything is like so ok..... onli at times of chanting den is kinda depressing.. besides that.. is ok.. on d last nite.. a bit scare me off.. coz there's more than hundreds of ppl present in d wake.. really.. scary... we increased 20 more tables and yet still not enough.. there was like a hundred of gangsters there.. coz one of my cousin is the descender of certain secret society... realli.. a bit.. feel weird.. so ahem.. is so drama when they pray to grandma.. d way we see in movies of secret society.. d queueing up and shouting of certain stuffs den 1,2,3 whole gang bow tt kind of thing.. tooo drama..

any way.. i learn a lot of things.. and realise a lot of things.. ya... and ya.. grandma is v fortunate alreadi.. so ya.. i will smile alreadi.. =)

and yes.. i m pissed at some people.. din wan to say names here.. jus pissed..

grandma left... when i was already rushin to see her.. i din made it in time..
i shouldn't hav left for home first after skipping lectures.. before going to grandma hse.. but i did because i intended to meet my cousin to go together.. she left at 4.58pm.. and i reached ard 5.30pm.. late.. too late..

however.. relatives says that grandma left peacefully and quietly.. when she is alive, she likes to dress up nicely.. and when aunties changed grandma's outfit to something nice.. put on bangles on her etc.. she left.. auntie says grandma wan to leave this place beautifully.. thou i reached there late.. i was still able to look at her.. thou she is not moving.. but somehow.. there seems to be a smile on her face.. and i felt more relieved.. at least she had almost everyone with her.. she is still considered very fortunate as all her sons and daughters were there.. grand children and great grandchildren too..

d only thing i did for grandma today.. was to go out and get make up materials for her 'make up'.. n that's d only thing i can do.. now.. i'm more worried for my grandpa.. i won't forget this day.. and.. yes.. i will study hard.. i wun disappoint grandma.. my parents.. and myself..

i wun be goin to sch till wed.. but jus wanted to assure frens.. that they dun hav to worry for me.. i'm ok.. really.. jus give me some time.. i will be back to the normal marshmallow when i had sorted my thots out.. m also.. quite.. touched that fen and tofu tried to cheer me up even thou i did not give realli much of a usual reaction.. but i m aware of that.. jus a bit dunno how to say face to face.. so ya.. dun worry for me.. i'm ok..

relieved.....i m relieved..... m not so.. tense now... i know grandma is free of pain and smiling in heaven.. lookin at her family of around 50 taking care of her and thinking of her... a big family.. she will be remembered.. and happy..
take care..

Tired.. is an excuse

i din wanted to blog on this.. but i guess maybe tat's d onli way i can.. communicate on this thing without .. nvm.. i rmb last year.. same thing occured to one of my close fren.. she hide it from us and causes much misunderstandings.. we had a 'cold' war.. and only ard months months later.. she told me wat happened.. and i felt bad.. so did she too..

now i guess d same thing is happening to me.. i din noe how to tell classmates when they kept asking me what time did i sleep, what time did i wake up, why am i so tired, why m i so moody etc.. i said i m tired... and i admit here that i m lying.. d onli one in class who knows what happens is huifen..

my grandma is out of hospital today.. and none are happy because there is nothing to be happy about. the family requested the doc to let grandma move back to home to spend her last few days or day.. and d doc send her back home today.. i received d news when i was printing my digi stuffs n of coz i rushed to holland v to see her.. and everyone is there.. more than 20.. everyone had cried at least once before.. i dun like this kind of feeling but.. i know.. how everyone feels.. grandma lie there breathin v difficultly with the oxygen support and there were moments when she opened her eye but we can't c d iris.. mama asked us to speak to her.. and when i called her grandma.. i m here and stuffs.. can c that even thou her eyes are not opened, tears were flowing down... she mus be feeling v sad and she knows she is leaving us soon..

jus like on d new year eve.. when everyone is celebrating and counting down to new year.. i was in the hospital.. that was the first time i held her hands in mine in d 20 years of life.. she tried so hard to talk to me and i can;t even catch a single word she say.. finally i heard something.. that is she asked me to study hard.. and she said it with tears...and uses all her strength to hold me tightly and since then.. i know she is prepared to leave.. but yet..she can't bare to go.. it mus be v hard on her.. to tolerate with the pain she is havin.. both physically and emotionally.. v hard.. ever since that day.. i can't seem to be smiling truthfully to classmates.. everyday seems to be d last day for her.. and seems to be d last day for me to see her as well.. i.. saw grandfather crying in one corner.. jus now.. it mus be hard on him as well..

i dunno wat m i thinking.. part of me wish for her to stay longer coz i dun wan her to leave... but part of me wished for her to go.. coz it is too painful for everyone and herself to keep thinking that everyday is the last day.... today and tml.. is the crucial day.. n i m tired.. tired of everything.. tired.. life is really.. very unpredictable...

Life is so unpredictable

A week ago, it's d start of my sch holis..
Now, it's d last day of my holis.

A week ago, i still haven do my digi imaging..
Now, i kinda completed it.

A week ago, Baobei came back to SG..
Now, she's on plane back to Shanghai.

A week ago, Tofu went to Japan..
Now, she's back in SG.

A week ago, it's 2005..
Now, it's 2006.

A week ago, she's still buying lottery..
Now, she can't speak and move...

A bad start for 2006... hopefully things will be better.. but i doubt so..


我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如果度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭