Exhausted

well.. this few weeks i've been busy with my studio proj stuff.. but m doin fine at d moment.. so ok.. yday a classmate came over to my place at ard 11pm coz he wanted me to teach him how to draw and stuffs like tt.. he had difficulties in doin the studio proj so i thot ok.. i could do and rush my painting today and help him yday nite.. c how.. i also dun wan any classmates to fail or what shit and he sounded so depressed.. so yar.. i agreed to let him come my place.

so what happened was that my bro din come home yday nite.. so we studied in his room instead of mine coz i got no proper table for drawin in my room plus it was too messy. and i started teachin him from ard 11pm till guess what.. ard 5AM.. finally at ard 5 plus AM i realli cannot tahan le, i fell asleep on my bro's bed. and him, continue to draw lor.. until ard maybe 6 plus den he also fell asleep with his head flat on d table.. haha!! too bad... but once i wake ard 7 plus Am.. gosh.. woke him and guess what? we continued drawing.. i m damn tired lor.. i rmbered i used to slp at 10PM sharp when i m in sec and jc lor.. but eversince i got into this course.. i dun realli have a proper slp.. maybe there is.. once in maybe a week or two.

as for this classmate, how did he perform? i would say.. he still need a lot of patience and practice.. main prob is that he can't shade and he finds it hard to visual some forms and shapes.. and he dunno where the light shine on etc.. he uses a 6B pencil and the strength he put in is like me using a HB pencil.. so i asked him to use more strength and be daring with some strokes.. den i realised he uses to much strength.. = ="!! tt is why it becomes so 2D and single tone and value thing.. but heng after much much 'lecturing' and i m frank with my comments.. din wanted to waste time go one whole big round tell him what he need to do.. he did show improvements and i m happi with that.. at least my time and effort spent is not wasted. but pls.. pray that he dun slack again if not nxt time i wouldn't be able to help him. after all, i m not a saint..

so after teachin him mainly shadin stuffs.. he left this morning ard 9Am.. and guess what?
i can't slp.. i need to rush my final draft digital painting coz tml i need to hand in to amy for final critique thingie.. so i straight on com and started painting without knowing what i m painting.. till now.. near 12pm. i m done with my painting but my brain is not realli functioning properly now..
i am jus exhausted.. bt i hav to reach sch by 830am tml.. so duhz.. exhausted..

den... while doing painting.. keep thinking of some friends... especially when i m having my meals.. had a chat with esther yday nite time.. appreciated it that she intiated the chat.. told me that she saw jane some days ago or what.. hmm.. ya.. come to think of it.. i haven been seeing them.. and also d fact that debbie is disappointed that some frens said they will turn up for her hse warmin bbq but den in d end they din turn up.. and i din go as well.. debbie says it is ok coz i already told her that most likely i can't go coz of my sch work stuffs... and she understands that. she wun blame me or what.. but i miss her le.. she is 4ever so understanding.. and i think i could never ever find someone else who is so nice to me le.. and yar.. esther and me will go debbie hse once i hav my holis.. and den.. maybe go esther place.. she cook for us to eat..

and i hav to say.. i still feel v bad that i din turn up for debbie's hse warming.. she's d closest fren i have.. and i din make it there.. hiaz.. i do rmb her tellin me in a swimmin pool be4 tt she will dote me coz she treat me like her real sis.. and she dun mind if she is not the one who i 'sayang'.. as long as she wanted me to know that she will be there for me den it's ok le..... i m realli stupid or retarded or what shit? how come it seems like i keep worry for someone who may not need me to worry for her and den neglect someone who actually treasures me more than anyone else.. except my mum lar..

i think there is something wrong somewhere... there's once a guy in d mrt station appearing from dunno where approached me and told me that i will be successful in my career etc. at first i thot he siao.. as in gila aka crazy.. coz i dunno him at all... but den i was shocked that he managed to say some things true abt me.. he look at me.. ask me 3 qns like dunno what thing winter what what blah blah, what will i chose tt kind etc lar.. den after tt he straight concluded that.. i will be rich in d future.. *dah da i hope so.. thou i not sure* and that the onli thing that is appearing to affect me most is in the relationship part. and that refers to relationship bet not onli love lar.. but also family and friends. and he said that i will care too much for friends and scare of losing them.. i will treat them so much nicer than my family.. he advises me to not to do that.. and says that family should be the most impt part of me, not friends.

i hav to say that family will 4ever be the most impt to me no matter what is going to happen in it.. d difference is that.. towards friends.. i may show it that i care.. but towards family.. i will keep it in my heart.. and of coz.. thru out my 20 yrs of living.. i nv tell my parents and brother any of my troubles.. coz.. so what if i tell them.. if that will cause them to worry or what.. den what for? so some might think by doing that, i m not interacting with my family.. but den again.. i did interact with them.. but jus tt i wun tell them stuffs that are troubling me.. jus tell them happy stuff will do. the onli thing that parents hope for is that their kids are happi den they will be happy.. so i thot.. ya.. i will keep talking to myself den.. or my bolster abt my troubles.. maybe someday my bolster will reply me.. ee... how scary..

eh.. i m way out of point.. hav the habit of drifting away.. den o ya.. i was exhausted.. no.. i m exhausted.. rite.. so i got to slp rite.. ok.. i will go slp.. dun think too much.. stop thinking..
lalalalalalala.... i m getting older.. my hair's dropping.. i m going to be bald.. my teeth will drop soon.. lalala.. i will be a funni ah ma..
lalal.. zzzzzZ..Z...