Monday, September 05, 2005
Reality suxs... shit..
ok.. i dun like.. dun like to accept realities. but i accepted it anyway. fact is my father is again not talking to anyone of us becoz of a stupid thing. he failed to had his passport renewed coz my brother and i din tell him that his POSBank acct nos should not be filled onto the form coz they need debit/credit card no. not bank acct. so he got mad when his form got rejected. shit..
he din scold my bro n me but he threw his anger at mum. shit him.. his temper is getting worst each day.. n he drinks more and more.. from 4 cans a day till now, 8 cans a day and still craving for more. all the money had to go into his stomach i guess. the thot of buying sleeping pills or what to mix it in his drinks occurs to me. i wonder if i make him have diahorrea or what from drinking.. will he stop drinking den? but would i dare to do it? i dun think so.. what if something happens.. but i felt like doing so.. i have to control my thots..
mum says maybe one day when something happen to him den he will learn his lesson.. well.. i doubt so.. unless it is something really serious like my grandma. thou i dun hope tt day will come but... somehow... looking at the situation now.. it is so hard to say.. hav i given up my hopes on him? i dun like this feeling.. shit.. i shall c..........
apart from tt shit.. other stuffs are fine at d moment.. my sch work is quite ok.. within my control i would say.. bt i missed out a lot on other stuffs.. time with debbie etc.. n i haven visited Anna since she gave birth to a baby girl, Chloe.. hiaz..
den what else is happening? jus tt d jue dui Superstar had ended lor.. Everyones' talkin abt it so yar..well, Weilian won. congrats to him ba.. thou i prefer Kelly.. coz of her singings and performance.. but i dun think.. they should have let Weilian to get into the finals.. not becoz of his disabilties.. not tt... is it jus that.. i think this would cause him more harm den good.. thou now he won, but how long can this last? what if it is like the william hung case? it is like william hung is popular coz ppl says he is brave etc lar.. but look at him now. where is he?
and now.. in Sg, how long can weilian last? if he din managed to maintain his fame or what.. he will go back to busking.. well.. that would cause him a lot of trouble too. he wouldn't be able to be like what he used to be thou i read that he enjoys busking.. and den, Play Music signs Champion, Universal signs the runner-up. does tt means getting a runner-up position is better than the Champion? coz Universal is a more established music company with sooooo many good/popular singers like Karen mok,Jacky Cheung, Jolin Tsai, Energy.. etc.. den Play music.. er.. Chai Chun Jia, Zhang Dong Liang and Ocean Ou de Yang. that's d only 3 i know.. but den not popular.. so.. ? winning d top position a good news to Weilian's fans? it is like a tactic to push the ratings higher and get more ppl to call in so that the respective organizers etc can earn more money.. so when weilian won.. i somehow pitied him.. leading a simple life is very good le.. but he wouldn't be able to lead a simple life anymore in the future.. i guess..
ok.. enough of superstar thing.. to side track from my shit feelings.. i'm not studying now.. no nothing.. should i jus slp and den study tml.. yar... maybe.. c how it goes..
@ 12:24 AM
ok.. i dun like.. dun like to accept realities. but i accepted it anyway. fact is my father is again not talking to anyone of us becoz of a stupid thing. he failed to had his passport renewed coz my brother and i din tell him that his POSBank acct nos should not be filled onto the form coz they need debit/credit card no. not bank acct. so he got mad when his form got rejected. shit..
he din scold my bro n me but he threw his anger at mum. shit him.. his temper is getting worst each day.. n he drinks more and more.. from 4 cans a day till now, 8 cans a day and still craving for more. all the money had to go into his stomach i guess. the thot of buying sleeping pills or what to mix it in his drinks occurs to me. i wonder if i make him have diahorrea or what from drinking.. will he stop drinking den? but would i dare to do it? i dun think so.. what if something happens.. but i felt like doing so.. i have to control my thots..
mum says maybe one day when something happen to him den he will learn his lesson.. well.. i doubt so.. unless it is something really serious like my grandma. thou i dun hope tt day will come but... somehow... looking at the situation now.. it is so hard to say.. hav i given up my hopes on him? i dun like this feeling.. shit.. i shall c..........
apart from tt shit.. other stuffs are fine at d moment.. my sch work is quite ok.. within my control i would say.. bt i missed out a lot on other stuffs.. time with debbie etc.. n i haven visited Anna since she gave birth to a baby girl, Chloe.. hiaz..
den what else is happening? jus tt d jue dui Superstar had ended lor.. Everyones' talkin abt it so yar..well, Weilian won. congrats to him ba.. thou i prefer Kelly.. coz of her singings and performance.. but i dun think.. they should have let Weilian to get into the finals.. not becoz of his disabilties.. not tt... is it jus that.. i think this would cause him more harm den good.. thou now he won, but how long can this last? what if it is like the william hung case? it is like william hung is popular coz ppl says he is brave etc lar.. but look at him now. where is he?
and now.. in Sg, how long can weilian last? if he din managed to maintain his fame or what.. he will go back to busking.. well.. that would cause him a lot of trouble too. he wouldn't be able to be like what he used to be thou i read that he enjoys busking.. and den, Play Music signs Champion, Universal signs the runner-up. does tt means getting a runner-up position is better than the Champion? coz Universal is a more established music company with sooooo many good/popular singers like Karen mok,Jacky Cheung, Jolin Tsai, Energy.. etc.. den Play music.. er.. Chai Chun Jia, Zhang Dong Liang and Ocean Ou de Yang. that's d only 3 i know.. but den not popular.. so.. ? winning d top position a good news to Weilian's fans? it is like a tactic to push the ratings higher and get more ppl to call in so that the respective organizers etc can earn more money.. so when weilian won.. i somehow pitied him.. leading a simple life is very good le.. but he wouldn't be able to lead a simple life anymore in the future.. i guess..
ok.. enough of superstar thing.. to side track from my shit feelings.. i'm not studying now.. no nothing.. should i jus slp and den study tml.. yar... maybe.. c how it goes..
@ 12:24 AM
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