Free-thinker (current state)

After these few days.... i decided that.. i wan to be a free-thinker now.. till whenever i wan it to be.. self declare free-thinker... i dun wan to be a taoist alreadi.. thou my hse still got pray.. and also.. at this current state... my thinkin is that.. if i die.. i wan to be cremated.. not buried.. ok... for this moment.. in d future maybe i'll change my mind again.. well, i dunno..

anyway.. i'm ok alreadi... grandma left peacefully and somethings heard from relatives realli amaze me.. cousins said that there is a saying that.. for ppl who pass away before 5pm means that he/she wanted to pass down her belonging to her children, grandchildren etc.. for a better life.. and for those who pass away after 5pm means tat she wanted to take everything with her and not leave it to d other generations. and my grandma can't bare to leave.. so she waited till 4.58pm den pass away.. jus 2 mins away.. be4 that, she passed a stack of $2 to one of my auntie and asked her to give out $2 each for her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren etc.. those who were present to send her off.. den d rest give it to my grandpa.. for good luck purpose.. another tradition of d taoist.. sometimes.. this kind of thing do amaze u.. tat.. how strong d will power can be..

also d happenins in d wake.. is also... er..... pissed at some aunties... for those 'religion' conflicts... prob is that there's arguments on d matter of how to carry out d funeral.. in christian style or taoist style.. serious conflicts.. d sons insisted on taoist style, daugthers insisted on christian style.. c'mon la.. show some respect for grandma la.. if she wants taoist style den let it be la.. why mus those aunties keep on insisting on some things tat make everyone not happy... but aniwae.. in d end.. everything is done in taoist style coz there is a vote of 6:2.. grandma had 7 sons, 3 daughters.. 1 son and 1 daugther alreadi passed away.. so left 8.. and i jus realise that how big is our family.. grandma had so many children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.. add together ard 64.. a bit too many.. and some of them i din reg at first..

i thot d wake would be v depressing... but it turns out to be more of gathering.. kinda... coz.. grandma like to c a lot of ppl.. she like a happy atmosphere so everything is like so ok..... onli at times of chanting den is kinda depressing.. besides that.. is ok.. on d last nite.. a bit scare me off.. coz there's more than hundreds of ppl present in d wake.. really.. scary... we increased 20 more tables and yet still not enough.. there was like a hundred of gangsters there.. coz one of my cousin is the descender of certain secret society... realli.. a bit.. feel weird.. so ahem.. is so drama when they pray to grandma.. d way we see in movies of secret society.. d queueing up and shouting of certain stuffs den 1,2,3 whole gang bow tt kind of thing.. tooo drama..

any way.. i learn a lot of things.. and realise a lot of things.. ya... and ya.. grandma is v fortunate alreadi.. so ya.. i will smile alreadi.. =)

and yes.. i m pissed at some people.. din wan to say names here.. jus pissed..