it's probably going to be a random entry. and i'm gonna throw tons of rubbish and thoughts in here.. with or without thinking.

i went to sch today to hand in the pcmag competition thing and the work i did is pretty stupid but i kinda give up already coz i won't win anyway.. there's like gong lim, aud, cus and another girl from another class and so so so many other ppl from other schools or watever fighting for that $2000 bucks + photoshop + watever shit. so lack of confidence now that i don't think i can produce something i am satisfied with.

that certain day when that stupid ah pek commented that ms ng mus have made a wrong decision to ask me represent d sch in this thing, i kinda feel the same way too.. at this current stage.. i am also having doubts in myself and my abilities..maybe i am really not suitable to be a designer.. and my decision of taking up this course.. my passion everything had.. kinda died down a bit here and there... perhaps coz of some modules that i dun see why i need to take them.. er.. watever.. and also constantly feeling discouraged over er watever ba.. so lack of motivation.. aniwae, heard that last year's IM students had to model furnitures.. but this year we had to model human characters like the animation students. so =.=" and drawing module.. every week 5 a bit =.= for me.. i owe the leacture like 30 pages? and i need to finish them within 2 weeks? shit.. no wonder i wan to go taiwan to study so much.. if only i can go..

ok i m grumbling about sch work. neh mind. talk bout something else ba.. watched nacho libre and it was funny.. funny and funny.. ah.. there's so many movies that i wanted to watch yet haven watch lar.. pirates of the carribbean , the lake house, long hu men, lady in the water, click..... hiaz... neh mind.

lalala.. and i m still grumbling.. hiaz.. i need to get some motivation for anything that i am going to do.. but where to get.. i seriously dunno.. nothing and no one seems to be able to give me some motivation or encouragement? hahah i dunnoe.. neh mind.

AHHHHHH... :( i used to think that i won't ever want to get married one day or what lar.. coz of certain reasons.. but den maybe becoz of huiwen's influence that made me think.. i mean i THINK.. yea.. i will get married one day around 30 years old or watever lar..? haha so that i can relax at home take care of kids if there is going to be any and den wat? cook cook shopping lim kopi watch movie.. MUAHAHAHHA... =X i got to be kidding man... so not me.. but den again.. thinkings do change over time.

so d very NOW me wanted to jus relax and take things one step at a time. a bit sick of work ba.. that's y suddenly have this thinking but no no i am not in a hurry to find one thou.. i'm still someone who goes with the flow... have means have, no have means no have. so i hope my mum dun nag at me again to tell me stuffs like who and who ok, i wan to consider or not or wat wat wat.. so =.=" and the most funny thing is that my mum like XXX so much that since he broke off with his gf, she had been asking me if i did went out with him. dots. duhzzzzzzzzzz... sooooo not possible. still ask me take initiative somemore.. almost took a hammer to hit my mum hahhaha.. exagerating.. mummy! u SIAO ah! hmmm n she's complaining that i bring more girls home instead of guys. dots. hey hey?! where got mother wan daughter anyhow bring nan ren home one? my mum's crazy. neh mind. reminds me of that time when beicheng came over to my place to stay over so that i can teach him drawing for the studio proj. my mum was so happy that she served him drinks etc. =.=" and she whispered to me :" dun lock the door hor" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i almost fainted. BEICHENG? i rather kill myself haha.. i scare of his wahcheeEh lor.. so fierce.. hhahah..

muahahaha.. i'm not that despo lar.. maybe some years later den will get despo and lower standard or worst, go get some sex toys and shout out to the world that i don need a guy? not serious. neh mind. like wat huiwen says, she will lower her standard when she is 19 years old.. laugh till i almost faint again. but den hahaha i think i will also lower standard when i hit like er... 26? or 25?Muaahaha... sounds so cheap hahaha but i'm a cheapo aniwae~ neh mind.

Oh.. so late le.. go slp la.. feeling in a weird mood.. mixed feelings.. dunno why.. jus. something is missing.. aniwae, i saw the kero and colin's friends just now. i THINK is their friends lar.. thou i duno them but their blog is so popular that i have the links. so yea.

neh mind.